| Location | Crawley |
| Age | 18 years |
| Date of Birth | 2/1985 |
| Visitors | 1,709 since 14/02/2007 |
| Creator |
Gary Chenaf a.k.a. Williams
17 January 2003 - The day Gary died and our lives changed forever.
Age 17
Born and brought up in Crawley, West Sussex
Gary has a beautiful Son, born 7 months after Gary died, Gary has 2 brothers and 1 sister
Gary hung himself one month before his 18th Birthday
Gary is loved and missed every day.
Gary took his own life 6 years ago and we still do not know what happened that day and many
questions remain unanswered.
Gary lived life to the full, everyone knew Gary he loved his friends and was out more than at home,
after eating, nicking my fags and using the phone he would be straight out to join his mates. There
are so many sides to Gary, he was a very caring, loving boy, his heart was always in the right
place, but he was also a very stubborn boy, we had more rows than I care to remember, typical
teenager, but now he is no longer with us I miss his loud music, I miss his moaning and arguing
until he got his own way, I miss his cheeky smile, his laziness, and even the high phone bills
because even that reminds me he is not here, everything about Gary we miss, each and every day. Our
lives will never be the same without him.
Gary loved motor bikes they were his passion, the faster the better, Gary had no fear and lived his
short life to the full. Gary will be remembered forever, there is not a moment that goes by that he
is not in our thoughts.
For much more detail of Gary's life, please view Gary's personal web site at:
www.gary-chenaf-williams.memory-of.com
Do not forget me
I may not always be here
I am a lot like you
But now may be just a glancing thought
Do not forget me
There is nothing I can do
To keep my memory alive
I can only rely upon you
Do not forget me.
Southwark Cathedral
Well darling, was you with us today, I bet you was. The Service of Thanksgiving for Organ Donors was so lovely, it has taken me 6 years to have the courage to attend, every year I think Im going to go and every year I think I cant handle it and chicken out, I am so pleased I went with your sister to honour your memory, yes it was emotional but we did fine and so proud of you that two little boys are able to see because of you. Southwark Cathedral is such a lovely place and to see so many people all of whom have had to make a very difficult decision and at a time when hearts have been broken takes courage, you made that decision bearable for us as you had already long before made the decision to be a donor and in that we were spared the wondering if it was the right thing to do as it was your wish. The Transplant Team who was at the service today were nice and I was able to have a chat, I have been wanting to ask something for such a long time and today I was able to, I have the 'In Memory' book which was given to us from the Transplant Team today, your name in there means a lot, you will never be forgotten darling, never, but what we wouldnt give to change things, if only we could. We love you Gary and you know every day without you is a day without sunshine. Always remembered forever missed. Love You Son, Mum xxxx
I Know You Will Be Proud
Published in The Crawley News
19th August 2009
Crawley woman draws inspiration from tragedy
THE sister of a tragic teenager has set up a website to help grieving families.
When Gary Chenaf committed suicide six years ago at the age of 17, Sharon Chenaf and her family struggled to cope with funeral arrangements and paperwork.
Now Miss Chenaf, of St Joan Close, Langley Green, is doing her bit to help others with the grieving process.
She said: "It is not a nice time.
"Your head is in a whirl when you have lost someone so close. The last thing you want to do it is deal with all the arrangements."
Having ruled out the possibility of opening a shop, Miss Chenaf decided to set up her own website.
She said: "With funding and work commitments it ended up being way out of my league.
"It has always been in the back of my mind then one morning I woke up and it hit me that this could be something I could do from home."
After taking business courses Sharon set up her website, which offers free information on everything from coffins and flowers to keepsake jewellery and memory boxes.
Miss Chenaf has also researched items that are rarely available in the UK.
She said: "I have built this from pure experience, from when my mother was looking for things on the Internet and couldn't find any companies in this country that sold them."
She added: "If we can take some of the stress out of this and give people time to grieve then it will hopefully make it easier for them."
Miss Chenaf's website also includes advice and legal information, something she said can be very confusing.
As well as offering advice on the website, Miss Chenaf can visit bereaved families free of charge, to help with funeral arrangements.
Gary's mother Carole Lauderdale, from Ifield, believes her daughter's website is a great idea.
She said: "When someone dies you just want to hide away. You don't want to be dealing with the arrangements you just want to be at home with family and friends.
"Sharon has done a lot of research so all the product prices are very competitive."
FOR MORE INFORMATION: www.here-after.co.uk
Why aint you here
Its Enis's Birthday, its a Friday and plans are being made for a nightclub to celebrate with his brother and sister and mates - why aint you here, you should be, the sensible one, always keeping check in case any trouble is about to start and knowing always what to do. I hate it that your not with us, nothing will ever be the same again, always the sadness, always the heartache, we all miss you so so much, love you always and forever darling, and never for one minute think you are not in our thoughts, Gary you will be with us forever in our hearts, love you, miss you, think of you, Mum xxxx
Gary's Poem
WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
When tomorrow starts without me
and I’m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
the way you did today
while thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you Love me
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me
I know you’ll miss me too,
but when tomorrow starts without me
please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name
and took me by the hand,
she said my place was ready
In heaven far above,
and that I’d have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away
a tear fell from my eye,
for all my life, I’d always thought
I didn’t want to die,
I had so much yet to do,
it seems almost impossible
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the Love we shared,
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday
just even for a while
I’d say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.
So when tomorrow starts without me
don’t think we’re far apart
for every time you think of me,
I’m right there in your Heart.
Where was you
Where was you Son yesterday when we had the family bar-b-q at Danny's, I wonder was you with us, did you see us all having fun, having a go at kareoke and just acting daft, you are so very missed Gary and no matter what we do you are always in my thoughts and in my heart, there is always the sadness of not having you with me, amongst the laughter always there is the tears. Today is Fathers Day, your day, I am waiting for your son to arrive, bringing his baloon and card for you, we will go to your bench and feed the ducks and have some fun, he talks about you and asks questions about you, looks at photos and he is growing into a lovely boy, a son you would have been proud of. Well darling just always know how much I love you and how much you are missed every day. Love you forever son, Mum xxxx
Happy 24th Birthday
Happy Birthday Son, cant quite believe your 24 today, how quickly the time goes by, can it really be 24 years ago I looked at you for the first time, your eyes open, looking around for all to see, as if you had been here before, you certainly took your time getting here though but after a few scary moments there you was and blimey as you grew up didnt I know I had you. To say I miss you every day just doesnt seem to explain it, there are no words to say that can ever cover the hurting of not having you with us, missing you, thinking of you, love you all these words seem empty sayings when I feel my heart has been ripped out, the sadness and longing for you is so imense, the feelings and thoughts so strong, the silent screaming that I feel every day but that cant be let out for fear I would never stop, Gary the six years you have not been with me is the most sad years that I have ever known, the days are empty without you, of course my life goes on and for best part the mask doesnt slip, the mundane daily things still get done but always in my heart is you, your smile, your laughter and sense of humour, your cheeky grin, your moaning until you get your own way, your special walk and the way you stood, the way you would swear, everything was so unique, and everything about you Gary is still with me every day and nobody can ever take that away from me. I am going to say again, I Love You Son, I Miss You, I Think Of You Always and You are Always In My Thoughts all this is true but these words will never ever say it how it is because there are no words to say just how much I Love You. Happy 24th Birthday Gary, xxxxxx
Six Years Without You
Six years today darling and it still hurts so bad not to have you here, we will celebrate you life as we always do and I know all your friends will come to the house and remember the good times they had with you but Gary I miss you so very very much and just want you with me. Always be happy wherever you are and just know you have my heart with you to surround you with love always and forever darling. I love you and miss you, Mum xxxx
Another Christmas
Hi darling, well another Christmas is nearly here, another Christmas without you, the worst year of my life was the year I lost you, my life changed forever and nothing will ever make me truly happy ever again, without you here there is little meaning to anything, of course the family has grown, Liam is keeping the population going and the babies are so cute, Kalila is still a sweetheart and your little boy gets more and more like you every time I see him, they are all gorgeous and you would be so very proud of them all, Chelsea and Albert are all grown up and Enis is nearly as tall as you now, nearly 6 years now and I wonder what you would be doing with them all. This year has been a really bad year, not only because you are not here but also Jeremy is so desperately ill and it breaks my heart to know we are going to lose him soon, the only comfort I feel is that you will look after him when the time comes and that he will be with his mum again but Gary it is so sad and so hard to cope with. You are always in my thoughts, but then you already know that, I miss you so very very much Son, love you always and forever, say hello to nanny and granddad for me and have a lovely Christmas and remember to always be happy, but don’t forget you are still getting that clip round the ear when I get to see you, followed by a big sloppy kiss and cuddle cos you will never be to old for a hug from your mum. Love you darling and miss you every day, Mum xxxxx
Missing You
Hi gazza, well we went out for firework night but of course it was not the same without you, it doesnt matter where we go or what we do because you are not with us we never quite enjoy ourselves the same and never will. You are always with us in our hearts, that will never change. Thinking of you always Gary, Love you more than I can say, miss you so very much, Mum xxxxx Close
Your Sons 5th Birthday
Hi Gazza, well darling your little boy is 5 today, I know you will be with him watching over him and keeping him safe and well, he is so like his daddy and for that I will always be so grateful, I miss you so very much and his little face brightens my days. Love you Gary and no need to tell you your in my heart and thoughts always, miss you son, love Mum xxxx
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